EVERYTHING MATTERS TO EVERYONE
January Week 1:
A Fresh Start
The idea of New Year’s resolutions has been around far longer than one might think. I assumed the New Year’s resolutions were a more recent idea, possibly conceived at the beginning of the 20th century. However, upon my research (via some interesting articles on history.com), I have discovered that New Year's resolutions date back to the ancient Babylonians, some 4,000 years ago. To think about how many people who have acknowledged and celebrated New Year’s from then until now, you can come to the conclusion that we are talking about the lifespans of tens of billions of people who perhaps at one time or another have set a new years resolution. Now, imagine if you were to somehow find out the success rates of New Year’s resolutions throughout history. I think it would be easy to assume that there would be a smaller percentage of goals that were reached compared to goals that were set. According to Forbes Magazine and CNN, statisticians report that approximately eighty percent of people do not reach their goals, admitting to abandoning their resolutions as soon as February. As far as the rest of the year goes, the number climbs to ninety-one percent of people who fail to reach their resolutions. Some goals are as simple as losing weight, starting a new hobby, or as complex as making a career change or finding their soulmate. Reasons why these goals fail can be because of unrealistic goals, time management or losing interest. As for myself, I believe I have different reasons for repeatedly failing to meet my goals.
Consistency = Discipline
Every year I get three or four different resolutions that I am certain I can meet. Usually it’s working out everyday, learning another language or saying this is finally the year where I’m going to break through and start drinking coffee. Yet every year, it's the same story. I consistently find myself falling into the eighty percent of people who abandon their goals by February, and I know what that reason is. Consistency. Now, I believe that there are different levels of consistency and all have to do with the amount of discipline you delegate into the different parts of your life. Areas where you have lots of discipline can sometimes leave you lacking in other areas of life, at least that’s true in my case. When it comes to lawn care (cutting the grass, weed eating, trimming the hedges) my discipline is through the roof. I have schedules and time frames built throughout my week so I always know when and how long I’ll have to put energy into making sure my yard is kept in a good condition. Where I have a little less discipline (and by a little, I mean a lot) is healthy eating. I don’t have a horrible diet as of now, But I too often indulge into compulsive snacking of sweets and fatty foods. Even though I know I should be more consistent in my diet, I’m not disciplined enough to put myself in a position to succeed. I often find myself rummaging through snacks at late hours or getting the sweetest thing off the menu. Now I know I’m rabbit-trailing a little off subject, but I believe those two examples tell a lot about how I view discipline. One reason I put so much emphasis on my lawn is the fact that people can visibly see it. Whether it's friends, family or strangers, my yard is visible for all to see and I believe you can judge a person by how they keep their yard. Because this is the way I think, I make sure my lawn is kept in a condition where I believe people will think good of me. You see, it’s not about the health of my lawn, but the image that I think is important. On the flip side, my diet only really affects me and my body. I’ve always had a high metabolism and a good fit, so I never worried about what I ate because I’ve been able to keep off the weight. By examining these two examples, I can come to the conclusion that my delegation of discipline into different areas of my life is directly affected by how I think others see me.
Me, Myself and Everyone Else
Ever since I was a child, I always put so much emphasis on how I appear to others, which has held true in my adulthood. I found myself making decisions based on what others are thinking instead of how I feel, and as a result, my discipline has followed. For example, I am disciplined when it comes to the budget of the household. It isn’t because I was raised a certain way to think about money that I am disciplined, but it's because I want my wife to know I am responsible and be a good steward of what we have. I am disciplined about being on time, because if I’m late I convey that everyone else’s time does not matter and that I don’t care enough to be punctual. Sometimes it feels that people’s perception of you is all that matters, and we often delegate the right amount of discipline in order to keep appearances up. I know in my heart of hearts that is not the case, and what is ultimately important is how we view ourselves. However, It’s almost impossible to ignore the idea of how others view you. Needless to say I do think that there is a way where you can flip the script, and divert your discipline to areas of your life where no one sees.
What if every move or decision you made directly affected someone else? The clothes we wear, the food we eat and which street we take would directly affect someone else's life. I bet all of us would be ten times more careful and intentional in our decision making. I do believe there is truth to the statement “everything matters to everyone” (which I believe I just made up). Depending on how you think, you may align with that thought process or reject it, but it does not change the fact that decisions do matter, whether that’s for yourself or others. Now what does this have to do with New Year's resolutions?
It turns out, like every year, I have 3 big new year's resolutions and none of which are of the “easy” variety. I’ve categorized each of these goals into passion, health and marriage, and some goals come with mini-goals that will ultimately help me with the big ones. Also, when creating these resolutions, I looked through the lens of “everything matters to everyone” and in doing so, I am delegating a fair amount of discipline to these goals, seeing that me reaching these goals is not only affecting me, but also my family, friends, and strangers I will come in contact with daily. Here are my resolutions spelled out:
1.) Make my music my full-time gig:
The past 2 years, I have taken pride in being a full-time musician, and it has opened many doors to many opportunities for myself. However, to achieve this, and to have financial independence, I have to be well versed in many different avenues of music making. Throughout any given month I’m giving lessons, contracting with different songwriting and production companies, and gigging out at any gig I can find, mostly providing a “playlist” like atmosphere where I am essentially background music. With this goal, my aim to have my original music and artistry be the forefront to how I make my money.
To achieve this, I will have to give up some of these ways I make money in order to give my full attention to my music. This means giving up lessons so I can be more consistent in creating content for youtube and social media. It means booking gigs where people come to hear my music, and not because of the half price appetizers. One tactic I’m using to help grow my music is this blog, where I share the ins and outs of what it’s like being a full-time musician, and all of the joys and terrors that come with it. I already have a schedule laid out for the rest of the year when it comes to blog posting and content creation, and I have already had success with this being the first post of many that will happen during this season of blogging. The wheels are turning and hopefully all of this writing will help me get into the groove of creating many more things for those who are interested to enjoy.
How does this affect me?
This resolution coincides with my dreams. Making music people want to listen to. Touring across the united states selling out venues. Winning grammys. Do I believe it is far-fetched? I honestly do not. I have all the skills and support at hand and all I am missing is the consistency and space to operate.
How does this affect others?
Because I am opting to be a full-time musician as a married man with a house and bills, it means I have to work hard to provide for my family. I know I will never let their needs not be met and I know I would do everything in my power to make them happy and proud of me. That’s more than enough fuel for me to get me where I need to go.
2.) Get Healthy
I mentioned earlier about how my diet has never been a problem for me, which I admit now was a bit of a stretch. It has been true for most of my life, but recently it has started to become a problem. Back in November of 2022, I went to the doctor for a routine physical at the behest of my wife. Everything went normally with all of the tests and I expected no alarming results. A couple of weeks later I was shocked to be informed that I have high cholesterol. A man of my height (5’11) Weight (180) and age (28) should not have the level of cholesterol I have, which is very high for my age. I feel fine, and I am constantly active by playing basketball about 4 times a week and keeping the yard up, but my eating habits are starting to catch up with me. The doctor recommended a low fat diet and to do some research on what diets and food items can help lower my cholesterol, and admittedly, I was a little concerned.
How does this affect me?
Later in life, high cholesterol that is left unchecked can lead to a wide variety of health complications, including heart failure. Now I could say “oh that’s future me’s problem”, but there won’t be a future me If I continue to think like that. As cheeky as that sounds, I have found that caring for your health is actually really good for you, and not good to ignore like many people my age do. I am excited about getting my diet to a good place where I can have a peace of mind about my health and how I can still enjoy the foods I love without having to fear for my health.
How does this affect others?
Ultimately I want to be there for my family as long as I can. See my kids grow up, grow old with my wife and experience the vast beauty of the world. The only way I can do that is make sure that I am healthy enough to do all of these things and you can never start too early.
3.) Progress in my effort to speak German fluently
For the past 4 and a half years, I have made a promise to my wife that I would learn her mother language so that our kids could grow up bi-lingual and stay ingrained in their German heritage. Though I have progressed some, I am still far behind what I should be when it comes to being able to speak the language. With starting a family on the horizon soon, It is eminent that I get serious about actively learning the German language. With apps like Rosseta Stone and Duo Lingo, along with watching German movies and shows, I believe I can come even closer to being able to be proficient in speaking the language. Though I find I learn more while being in Germany surrounded by Germans, I’ll have to be creative and consistent so I can get the most out of what I have.
How does this affect me?
I believe you are never too old to learn something. Those who say otherwise are either too stubborn to learn something new, or frankly lack the desire to do so. I want to keep my mind sharp and learning another language is a great way to stretch the brain and a great way to expose oneself to a beautiful and unfamiliar culture.
How does this affect others?
This is the only goal that I feel affects other people more than myself. Every time I come to Germany or interact with my wife’s family, I am deeply embarrassed about my ability to communicate with them. I catch about forty percent of the conversation and most of the time I have no idea how to respond back in German. I know some phrases and vocabulary that are essential for asking questions and keeping light conversation, but ultimately I enable myself to become an outsider around German speakers because I don’t know the language. Most importantly, my wife deserves me putting my best food forward in order to learn German. In doing so I show her love and show her the level of commitment I am willing to put forward to ensure our family will honor and embrace her German culture.
In conclusion
While this blog post is written more like an academic paper than anything else, the words I have written are an accurate representation of how I think and feel. This being the first of many posts to come, you the reader may find what I have written to be relatable, or odd, depending on how you think, and that’s ok. The important thing to take away from all of this is the fact I believe everything matters to everyone, in some way or another, and what matters to me in this upcoming season is discipline, consistency and achieving the goals I have set for myself. I hope you come along with me in this journey in finding my way through this life by way of music, travel and family. I love you all, and I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes I may have made that may have driven you crazy while reading this. Trust me, there will be much more to come!
All the best,
-Carlos
