Juggling Music and Parenthood: A First-Time Dad’s Journey
What a year it has been. I think I can speak for most people when I say that time seems to move faster each year. It felt like 2024 had just begun, and it's almost over within a blink of an eye. As for myself, 2024 has seen big changes, including changes in my professional and personal life. Let's start with the professional side of things. The beginning of 2024 saw me release 2 EPs (One under myself, and the other with my band), a few singles, a self-booked tour, and plenty of gigs, all in an effort for people to listen to my music. I was pitching to playlists and labels, most of which didn't work out. The opportunities that came through on bigger playlists had only minimal impact for a short time. It felt like half a year of planning, writing, recording, and releasing music didn't make much difference in establishing myself as an independent artist. The music industry has changed so much over the years, and I couldn’t keep up. I knew I had a big change coming up in my life, so instead of fighting and holding on to something that wasn't going to happen, I decided to let go and seek change. To clarify, I wasn’t “giving up’, rather just letting go. Now for the personal side of things.
On April 23, I welcomed my little girl Luna into the world. It was a moment I will never forget, and what I think is the proudest moment of my life. In preparation for Luna's birth, I had already had the urge to step away from being a full-time musician. I didn't want to travel as much, and I wanted to be able to be there for all the important moments. To put my dreams aside was a hard thing to do, but it was also the right decision. However, with a decision also comes action. Yes, I was going to step away from music full-time, but I had no job lined up that would allow me to provide for my family financially. I applied to over 200 jobs on Indeed, LinkedIn, and ZipRecruiter, and only got a handful of interviews (most of which were scams). It was one of the lowest points of my life. I applied to be a truck driver, to work in grocery stores and even to wash dishes. None of those panned out, mostly because those places didn't want to work around my schedule of having a newborn and wanting to tailor hours around her. Luckily, a week after Luna was born, a job that I thought fell through, called me and offered me a position at their company. This was a full-time role, with flexibility, great insurance, and excellent work-life balance. My wife was able to quit her job, start her own business, and spend most of her time being a great mother to our daughter. As much of an answered prayer that was, there were a lot of adjustments I had to make.
I've never properly held an office job, and I had no prior experience in this field. I didn't know what it was like to sit in traffic commuting to work, to have managers younger than me, or how to find balance within myself and for my family. The first few months of this job (start date of July) came with a lot of insecurities, tough lessons, and humility. It took me a while to find any groove, especially because I wasn't sleeping much during the night (you know, baby stuff). Not only that, but I was starting to feel an emptiness when it came to my creative joy. I had immense joy in the other areas of my life, but when it came to my music, I was still mourning its loss. After putting music on a shelf for a bit, I wanted to see what it was like to get back in the saddle. I began to make time every day to write. Not a lot of time, but at least 15 minutes. I found the best time to do that was on my commute to and from work. I've never written without a guitar in my hands before, but I used it as an exercise to work out undeveloped writing muscles. I relied heavily on my voice memos app on my phone to record melody lines and lyrical ideas. Once I was able to get my hands on a guitar, I'd quickly find a chord progression that I thought would fit and put the pieces together. Once I had enough skeleton outlines of some songs, I knew I wanted to do something with them. I made sure, because of my busy schedule, to put recording time on the calendar weeks in advance. Weekends were often our quality time together as a family, so I wanted to respect those times as much as possible. I also knew that weeknights were mostly where I got quality time with my wife after our baby was asleep. Sometimes I would have a little recording setup on the couch where I could record guitar with headphones on while sitting next to her as she watched a show or knitted. This way we could be close with each other, and I could also have the creative freedom to, well, create.
Once I had good working demos, I knew I didn't just want to sit on these songs. So I started planning a concert, the first one since the beginning of 2024. I more or less thought it would be fun just to get some friends together and share these songs. However, I quickly found out that I had written the best songs I've ever written, and that when they started to come to life, I also found creative life. That same creativity I was mourning a few months ago, had come back with a vengeance. When it finally came time for the show in October, I thought that I wouldn't sell many tickets, since it had been a while since I was consistently doing music. To my surprise, I sold out the concert and received great feedback about the new songs. It was confirmed that these songs were special. But what do I do now? I feel that with the year almost gone, I've finally found a good groove of balance. Being a father/husband first, a provider second, and, in a comfortable third place, my artistry. I feel the urge to rearrange those items to better suit my music career and give it the much-needed juice I feel like it needs to take off. However, I also know the best thing is to keep the balance where it is. I have a happy life, a healthy family, and a balance that gives me peace. With that being said, it doesn't mean I can't pursue the next phase of my artistry. This season has me working a desk job to provide. I do believe one day I'll return to the stage full-time, with the same priority hierarchy, but that season is still on the horizon. As we approach the new year, my mind is swirling with many ideas of how to keep balance and pursue my artistry. It's gonna take a couple of big swings, some luck, and a lot of help. But with my peace of mind intact, I know what I need to do next. It's time for an album.
